Patriotic Haiku #1

a wind-flapping flag,
colors and symbols ablaze—
too much history.

Russia vs. Georgia

Do current events upset you?
You know: the invasion of South Ossetia?
What is now the incursion into Georgia
Of many a crew-cut Russian soldier?
Fear not, world citizen:
Events in far-off mountains won’t
disrupt your summer—
as long as you consider
civilian casualties not too big a bummer.

An Anthem for the Beijing Olympics

So the games begin—
let those without stones
cast the first sin.
This much we know:
China’s quite good
at putting on a show,
so hold the whining about
Human Rights Pollution
Doping Trade
and The Like.
I for one am
quite willing to swap
my car for a bike.

In Praise of the F.B.I.

Hooray for the Feds!
They’ve come a long way from
the hunting of Reds.
Now they always get their man—
alive or, better still, dead.

The World’s Most Important Babies

If the world’s two Most Beautiful People
have two babies, well then shouldn’t
they be the World’s Most Beautiful Babies,
can’t we all agree?

After all, Brad’s your dad, maman’s très Jolie!
Life—after your delivery
by paparazzean section—
will be free of worry.

Mazel’tov.

Decision 2008

There must be a word that rhymes with Obama--
I somehow just know there is.
Perhaps the Times or Fox News will find one,
it shouldn't take a media whiz.

thankgod

Religious fervor
strikes again.
If I were a man of God
I'd ask forgiveness
for forgetting to say
amen.