Tuesday, November 25, 2008


pump prime the bailout
with massive infusions
don't save a dollar when
spending two will do.

get people working
avoiding confusion
take action quick and
see this thing through.

change you can bank on
solving solutions
grab bull by the horns and
talk yourself blue.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

monet, monet, monet

La France s'échappe
la récession économique—
il paraît.
Ç'est chic, non?
La révolution vit toujours,
mais je demande pour
combien de temps?
Comme jamais, on ne sait.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Heart of Africa

Keep taking from the Congo:
first rubber for your bike, now tin for your Xbox.
Do you, like, care?
Or even know where it is?
Grab the controller and play,
if you still have hands.
Sure, you say, it was the Belgians and then Mobutu.
Now it's the Tutsis and probably you too.

Monday, November 17, 2008

marine biology

Scientists say:
There aren't enough fish in the see.
Humans consume, dragging
nets, sifting dust.
Our dreams are drifting,
sinking fast.
They can still float to the surface,
you're thinking--
but don't hold your breath.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Monday, November 3, 2008

Lessons for America

Well people what
have we learned?
It's not how much
you earn
or how much fuel
you burn
or what kind
of monster you'll
turn into once people start
Asking Questions.

It's got nothing to do
with your middle name
or from what country you
came or whom did you screw
over 27 years ago
when no one dared think
or even cared.

Don't blink.
There's something big here.
How big? iPhone big. Batman big.
Peggy Noonan big. A thousand points of
Big Idea
scattered around like loose Change.
Did anything sink in at all?
Did it get through your skull's
thick wall?
Or do you still fear Knowledge? Or even an Idea?

show me something

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

all thumbs

In a world of wtf
i have to lol.
imho there is no
for how i feel.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Ode to Plumber Joe

Hey Joe,
where ya goin with that
wrench in your hand?
The nation beats a path
to your white-panel van.
You're a star, bro:
Your opinion's the key--
but not to me.
I've got my own problems, Joe--
only one of 'em is a leaky faucet (now there's something you can help me with).
Otherwise I care not how much you're taxed,
or what you think about banks, since you've asked.
Hey, Joe:
You're in the toilet trade--you've got it made.
You show up with a bill before the work's even played
and you shake your head and say,
"Oh this is gonna take more than a day..."
Feeling a pinch? Your income's a lead-pipe cinch.
You'll be alright, Joe.
It's the rest of us I worry about.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

October Surprise

Open your eyes;
There will be no October surprise.
The real bombshell
is in your mind--
you need to go ahead and
explode it.
Come November
all will not be
revealed, nor healed, nor
Turned Upside Down
so that you no longer know
what’s real.
Life will go on as before:
entirely as you make it.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Monday, October 13, 2008

day trade-off

The investor’s new lament:
“’Bye, low,” he’ll sigh.
The old rules
no longer apply.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Monday, October 6, 2008

daydrizzle believer

The grim gray rain
has its autumn upside:
You stop and think why
are you safe and dry--
if you so happen to be.

Sunshine’s overrated--
as a destination,
a mood-enhancer--
that you forget the wet
comfort of insulation.

Keep inside, then,
and let your day
dreams warm you.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

talk is cheap

Let’s slap a ban
on that word
it’s limp-wristed code for
“you get screwed.”

And as we’re in
the forbidding mood
eighty-six the tired, poor

We’re all up the same
damned street don’t you see.
Here’s a deal: I leave policy to you,
You leave poetry to me.

Monday, September 29, 2008

monday morning pundit

Ol’ Jim Lehrer
he couldn’t be fairer:
He gives each man his say.

Still I wonder
if he didn’t blunder
in setting up the show that way.

A few minutes here
a few minutes there--
so little new light gets shed.

We’d get more use
--more political juice--
from an hour of air squeezed dead.

Friday, September 26, 2008

versus interruptus?

No, the flow
of thought
will not

(a notion

for we need words
without end
in the face
of the absurd:

This is democracy
not goddam pretend
and your instant poet
shall ne'er suspend...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

here to there

The Electric Car:
they said it wouldn't go
far and what's more
would get there slow.....

It's tiny and weak
and un-American.
A Communist plot,
to drive something so
small. Or to take a
bus or train
or walk anywhere at all.

Fear not,
no lesson you'll
learn: Humvee heaven
will return
when the price of fuel
is about what you earn.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

when uppance comes

When the world smirks I told you so
where do you go?
Down down down.
The light bulb above your head
how is it screwed?
Up. Up.
The politics of class war
what do you get?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Babe wept

Tears on pinstripes
as a colosseum closes.
Buck up Bronx:
a new one will rise
next door, a temple built of
blood, sweat and taxes.

In Boston and Chicago
they cheer--as do I, from over here--
that New York's season is a bust.
It was ever thus:
Good folk everywhere
revel in rare
Yankee despair.

But there's no denying
a bittersweet fall.
We brook no bad will here;
so full of good cheer,
so inherently sad.

Friday, September 19, 2008

The Greatest Depression

Fit yourself for a pickle barrel
and learn how to crack nuts with your laptop
bro; those surfing skills won't do you much
good in the New Economy.

It's Road Warrior time, can you dig
the kerosene? Bottled water my ass.
You'll be clawing open cactus
and puking up the juice.

Cushy retiree, a Wal-Mart greeter?
Hah you wish, pal. That's a plum job
we won't like to see again
when the shit comes down.

Learn Mandarin, your nervous joke?
It won't save you, Gweilo--
Even the Chinese don't bother with it anymore;
they're too busy counting the minutes.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

the art of investing

Slice the bull market in half--
there's your golden calf--
and embalm it for show and sell.

Brokers on the ledge?
Put Damien Hirst in charge
of the hedge.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Monday, September 15, 2008

black-and-blue monday

Ding-dong the opening bell
sends numbers skidding
across your screen
in a left-to-right slide.
Above them flap gums—
scorecard the falling sky,
never mind the why.
Sing-song voices ring
not so true, never so green
even more blue
than in between
the blank spots.

Friday, September 12, 2008

hell is for freezing

Another Cold War
hotter than the last?
Why not, I ask:
They are so much
cozier than Holy Ones.

Let's thank our lucky stars:
Hockey Mom knows
we outskated the
Russkies once
and we can do it again.
We still believe in

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Captain Credit Crunch

Fannie and Freddie
sitting in a tree
First comes the loan
then comes arrearage
then comes Uncle Sam
with a baby mortgage.

The moral of the story
is a simple, not compound:
Money that's lost
will soon be found.
Little borrowers
musn't fuss and pout:
Overload your boat and
we'll bail you out.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

how to build a laser gun

O would-be terrorist,
is it a big weapon you seek?

Look inside your mind
and try to think
if it'll help.

A laser shoots light--
wave or particle I still don't know,
what Hawking's black hole will show.

(note to instapoet fans: this poem is an ode to all the thousands of people who have visited www.craigwinneker.com looking for answers on how to build a laser gun. Actually, it's a shameless attempt to attract some of those hits over to this site. For the whole story, go here.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

the best political team on television*

It's an old top story
and one that is boring:
the anchorman's
glory whole.

How about you
say it
and not
spray it.

We want the news
and not the

*certain limitations may apply

Monday, September 8, 2008

down set haiku

Cold war in the East--
a Jet unleashed. Overwhelmed:
a cheese head's lament

Friday, September 5, 2008


Make mine a dash of Ogden Nash

(or ee cummings and Eminem
chillin with both Dylans and
Calvin Trillin).

Thursday, September 4, 2008

the experience thing

Enough, enough with all
the who why what where how.
Well, now we know it's plain to see:
Ready to be VP?
Or a heartbeat from commander-in-chee?
Hell, she's at least as on the ball
as the guy who has the job now.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

très sexy politique chou chou

A la une! A la une
il n'y a que la lune
et le fait que
Madame le President
soit Charlotte la Brune.

C'est mieux comme ça
je croix.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

idiot breeze

It’s still a bit breezy there
but we can breathe a Big Easy now
that the storm has passed.
All the air has been sucked
out of the issue at last.
A ways up the river it’s time for the
conventional wind once again to blow.

Monday, September 1, 2008

the born conspiracy

Now we know, and by no means maybe:
that nice lady's daughter is having a baby.
Who are you to say if she ought to?
We bloggers have no choice but to
be ashamed of our lie-spreading ways
when the truth is born not in months
but in half-days.

scandal in utero

what was she really showing?
her belly, not seemingly growing,
contained the seed of scandal
teeming with a political life all its own.

no doubt soon we'll know
one way or the other:
is the governor really
her daughter's grandmother?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Patriotic Haiku #1

a wind-flapping flag,
colors and symbols ablaze—
too much history.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Russia vs. Georgia

Do current events upset you?
You know: the invasion of South Ossetia?
What is now the incursion into Georgia
Of many a crew-cut Russian soldier?
Fear not, world citizen:
Events in far-off mountains won’t
disrupt your summer—
as long as you consider
civilian casualties not too big a bummer.

Friday, August 8, 2008

An Anthem for the Beijing Olympics

So the games begin—
let those without stones
cast the first sin.
This much we know:
China’s quite good
at putting on a show,
so hold the whining about
Human Rights Pollution
Doping Trade
and The Like.
I for one am
quite willing to swap
my car for a bike.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

In Praise of the F.B.I.

Hooray for the Feds!
They’ve come a long way from
the hunting of Reds.
Now they always get their man—
alive or, better still, dead.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The World’s Most Important Babies

If the world’s two Most Beautiful People
have two babies, well then shouldn’t
they be the World’s Most Beautiful Babies,
can’t we all agree?

After all, Brad’s your dad, maman’s très Jolie!
Life—after your delivery
by paparazzean section—
will be free of worry.


Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Decision 2008

There must be a word that rhymes with Obama--
I somehow just know there is.
Perhaps the Times or Fox News will find one,
it shouldn't take a media whiz.

Monday, August 4, 2008


Religious fervor
strikes again.
If I were a man of God
I'd ask forgiveness
for forgetting to say

Thursday, July 31, 2008

in transit

Stuck on neurostar,
a speeding slow train.
Never making connections,
one track switches brain.

City ahead grows
distant on approach.
Red light burns cold,
coach leans low.

From a seat both aisle and window
I squint to count the passing grass.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Ode to the Indictment of Ted Stevens

Bribing a Senator--
how hard could it be?
One needs but rubber chicken
and weak coffee.

Bundles of cash
and golf bag blowjobs--
these fail to impress him.

It takes subtler favors to
ethically undress him.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

reporting live

The whole world explodes
in every little bomb—
a million tiny shards of why.

The police siren and the webcam
vacuum up a reason
along with the blood and
replace it spewing punditry.

We soon forget to care
about each blast each flood
each unavoidable famine

until the next time paints its
inevitable, temporary
splatter pattern.

Monday, July 28, 2008

"Spare, Change"

I still believe
in a place where
they keep hope alive,
where a thousand points of
peace in our time shine atop
a city on a hill. It’s morning.
In America.
Like a rock.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

place: holder

if at verse you do not succeed
try again--but only once
or else the moment will be lost.

the poet creates a placeholder,
some lines to test his template
be sure to stop by here again
for more instant contemplation

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